the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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