The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
