I will die if light touches me.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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