I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
