nut hugger
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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