no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
