yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
