I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Randomize
