brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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