woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
