In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Pants are for mortals
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
