hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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