don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
