Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
