dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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