You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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