He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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