Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
