we have officially lost it.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
