I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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