Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
