don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
