so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
