You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
