I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
