HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
