Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
