Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
