Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
