Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
