i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
