If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
