so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
