Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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