with your own penis?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
