Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
