I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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