Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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