do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Cover your peen. We're going out.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
