I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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