youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We need a shit load of segways right now
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
