I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
