Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
