Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize