All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just found puke in my bra..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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