im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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