So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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