if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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