Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
