I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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