I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize