Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
