Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
