Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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