no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize