May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
