I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
